Saturday, March 31, 2007
I thought I would try to describe one of my favourite parts of one of my favourite songs. The song is called "I will wait on the Lord". After singing verse and chorus a few times we come to this vamp (if you don't know what a vamp is, I don't know how to describe it, so you'll have to look it up). It begins with the bass section singing this deep consistent "I will wait, I will wait, I will wait on the Lord." They repeat this and continue to repeat it when the tenors come with this high, urgent proclamation "He is Coming! He is Coming!". They repeat this and continue repeating when the alto come in with "Help me to wait on the Lord." And they repeat this and continue repeating when the sopranos come in with this beautiful melodic line "He is here. He has always been by your side." And every one keeps repeating and building. So you get this juxtaposition of these different seemingly contractory but true phrases repeated on top of eachother and building.
"I will wait, I will wait, I will wait on the Lord."
"......He is....Coming!......He is....Coming!"
"......Help me to wait on the Lord......"
"He is here! He has always been by your side."
After repeating this a few times, the band cuts out and it just voices and clapping....
You really have to hear it. But it just brings tears to the eyes. Really. That vamp actually sums up my year pretty nicely. I feel like I've done a lot of waiting this year. Not by choice and certainly not patiently. But have been forced to wait on the Lord. Waiting for him to reveal himself. Waiting for a lot of things in my life which don't make sense right now to make sense. And then to hear that He is here, He has always been by my side....
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Monday, March 05, 2007
What a hopeless statement. And yet some days I come to the same conclusion. I've had the education. I know all about God's creation of this wonderful universe. I know about Christ's death on the cross what that means. I know that he will come again in glory to judge and to fully renew the cosmos. This all I know. But some days I just don't feel like accepting it. It may all be true, in fact, I'm pretty sure it is, but sometimes I just feel like saying, "So what?" Intellectually it's all very real. Its all been explained and proved and whatnot else. But can I accept it? Perhaps I'm just too obstinate and rebellious, too proud to accept even the greatest of all gifts. Why? I don't know. Its just this sense, this mood which broods deep down inside me and which sometimes breaks the surface of my consciousness. Can I accept all that God has done and will do? Or do I refuse and proceed on my own.
I'm convinced like a child that the wounds will heal and their traces will fade away, that all the offensive and comical spectacle of human contradictions will vanish like a pitiful mirage, like a horrible and odious invention of the feeble and infinitely puny Euclidean mind of man, and that in the world's finale, at the moment of eternal harmony, something so precious will happen and come to pass that it will suffice for all hearts, that it will allay all bitter resentments, that it will atone for all men's crimes, all the blood they have shed. It will suffice not only for the forgiveness but also for the justification of everything that has ever happened to men. Well, let it, let it all be and come to pass, but I don't accept it and I won't accept it! Let even the parallel lines meet and let me see them meet, myself - I shall see and I shall say that they've met, but I still won't accept it. That is the heart of the matter, so far as I'm concerned, Alyosha. That is where I stand.
Here I seem to have stumbled upon that which can finally separate us from God. Proud obstinacy which simply refuses all that is good in exchange for, well, me, I guess. This seems to be C. S. Lewis's conclusion in The Great Divorce. He describes Napolean living light years away from any hope for life, so obsessed with his own self to the exclusion of all others and to the Other. I guess this is why humility is so profoundly important in our ascent to God. That we open ourselves to the good which does not come from our own action. For it was humility which kept silent the twelve as the Son of God stooped to wash their feet. Some days we just need to sit silently and allow Christ to wash us. To accept his humble action in humility...
Friday, March 02, 2007
Yes, some of you may know that I went up to Whistler for a few days over Reading Break. It was a great week. I skied for the first time since a Grade 9 trip to Frostfire in North Dakota. Almost ten years ago! Makes me feel old. I really enjoyed skiing. For not having done it in so long I think I picked it up pretty quick and before long was carving up the slopes like I was born to do it. OK, that's an exageration, but that's what it felt like. There's something about skiing that just makes you feel, I don't know, like a superhero or something. The cold wind in the face. The mountain peaks gazing down on you. The speed. Maybe that's why I like skating so much. The cold wind in the face. The legs pumping. The speed in the cold. Maybe that's it. There's something inside me which becomes extremely alive when I'm moving quickly through cold air. That's why I'm tempted to get a season pass for Whistler come next winter.
I should also add that I did have a number of nice wipe outs, including one as I came to the bottom of the hill at the end of the day. Also had a couple yard sales.
I should get some pictures to post on here. Stay tuned maybe I'll put some up in the next day or so.